Start Me Up...

3 parts vodka

1 part tequila

1 part absolut kurant

1 part dark rum

Mix all together, shake with some ice, and get ready to write...a la Gay Talese.

The lovely Miss Ali and I had Indian food on Thursday evening for our catch-up sesh *Read...3 weeks of our lives that we needed to divulge in a period of about two and a half hours*.

The food (Mango Chicken Curry) might have been the BEST thing I have ever tasted, but I digress...

Among me synopsizing the Grey's finale, along with dishing about a boy, my long winded topic of conversation for the evening related to my excursion at the Los Angeles Passport Office. Don't be jealous. I know...it sounds fascinating.

SO fascinating, in fact, that Ali's beyond brilliant idea to write about said line at the passport office is just what I'm going to do.

Let the tackling of the seemingly mundane commence...

With love & allegro,

K

Norwegian Iceberg

3 parts Vodka

4 parts Sprite

1 shot blue Maui

Fill glass with ice, shake ingredients together, drink SUPER cold and with some warm Norwegian Christmas cookies that I may just make in June.

When I talk about something right before I fall asleep, it's all I can think about the next day.

i.e. : Last night Albert and I were discussing the fact that I am ridiculously white. Translucent...even. This conversation was spurred in tandem, however, with the fact that I am Norwegian. Now, let's be honest. There are very few things that *common people* know about Norwegians other than their Viking-ness and freakishly tall figures (enter...me, the 5 foot 11 inch blonde amazon).

What I know of being Norwegian, however, is the fact that we cook some MEAN pastries. I mean, MEAN. (for those of you that weren't paying attention, I used the word "mean" twice with two totally separate "meanings"!) ;) I crack myself up.

WARNING: The following images are not for the hungry or feint of heart.

Sand Bakkels - Basically a cupcake paper made entirely out of shortbread. You fill these with whipped cream or peppermint ice cream. My grandpa makes them by the dozens. My brother can eat at least 7 in one sitting. The best part is that it is mere impossible to eat one without getting whipped cream on your nose.

Try.

No really.

Fattigman - Deep Fried Cookie Dough covered in powdered sugar. When I was too young to deep fry (knowing I would do exactly what my mother feared) it was always my job to put the freshly fried cookies inside a bag full of powdered sugar and shake until the little bow-ties were smothered in it.

Krumkake - This fondly reminds me of every Christmas dinner I've ever experienced at my Grandparents' house. My Granny (a 6 foot 2 inch Viking, similar to myself) to this day, asks me to help her in the kitchen with the stuffing of custard and berries into the little waffle cookie cones. Any portion of the cones that brake, I get to eat.

It's a tough life.

Finally, the delicacy we have the most often at our house...

Ebelskivers - These are breakfast.

I know...right?

Ebelskivers are traditional little puff pastries (almost crepe like) covered in powdered sugar and *traditionally* Lingonberry Jam.

Salivating Yet?

You scoff at the silly names, but all you really want to do is go steal my mom's Sand Bakkle pan and bake...

be honest...

With love and Allegro,

Kristen

Writer's Block

3 parts Bourbon

1 part day old, cold as hell, coffee

Pour into a mug and try to squelch the never ending fear that the story you are writing won't be good enough.

I have writer's block.

...Not in all capacities. I can still blog. I can still recount the amazing night I had on Friday in a six page, very detailed spread. What I can't do? Bring a plot to fruition.

I have this preconceived notion that the first piece I write, has to be the one. The piece that will land me at on the New York Times Bestseller list, AND Oprah's Book Club within mere weeks of its publication. I'm blessed with the potential and the drive to do it. Hell, my six page spread took me less than an hour last night. The problem is that every plot I envision, every idea I start to map out, leads to self-doubt. I realize that the story that I'm developing sounds too similar to _____ movie or is too closely related to ____ book.

I have never chosen failure as an option. I will not now.

With love and Allegro,

Kristen

Star Wars

The perfect drink to mix with the ambitious Yoda, Darth Vader, StormTrooper and Boba Fett sugar cookies I am about to attempt...

1 part Southern Comfort

1 part Amaretto

1 part Sweet and Sour Mix

1 part Sprite

Mix all together and serve at a nerdy party. Or...at the cousin's fourth birthday for the adults that are indulging his Star Wars obsession...

My baby cousin is turning 4 in about a month and a half. In order to celebrate his birthday I have decided part of his gift will be a plate full of these babies....

via these cookie cutters from Williams-Sonoma :)

The only problem with said adorable cookies is the frosting portion. Looks hard, no? Before I get the final versions off the ground in July, I'm going to attempt some practice versions once or twice. Pictures of the disproportionate and disfigured little guys to follow...

Along with the awesomest sugar cookies of all time *that's right, awesomest*, this evening I have decided to be ridiculously ambitious and attempt not one, but two different cupcake recipes.

This one...

Blueberries and Cream Cupcakes (Extremely tasty and practical for breakfast tomorrow morning)

and this one....

Tres Leches Cupcakes: not necessarily practical for breakfast, but let's be honest. Tomorrow is Memorial Day, I'm not working, so obviously that's an excuse for eating the afore pictured cupcake anytime I damn well please. :)

MMMMMM...

Love and Allegro,

K

As Night Falls

Ingredients for a cocktail that will put me to sleep before my work has even begun...

2 oz Grey Goose L'Orange Vodka
1 oz White Grapefruit juice
2 Coriander Leaves
7 Red Peppercorns1.5 Tsp White Sugar
Ginger
Orange Zest

Muddle the peppercorns, add the ginger and muddle again, add all other ingredients with ice, shake, double strain, and garnish with an orange. Now...vow NOT to take a nap because you still have to drive to Orange County and back before work at 7:30 tomorrow morning.


Doesn't this cocktail sound and look amazing?


Mmmmm...I can understand why people become alcoholics. ;)


I had a phenomenally fantastic weekend. Pictures and new blog to follow shortly.



For the time being, I leave you with my opinion of ice dancing. Yup. You heard right. It was on yesterday evening, and is concluding with the medal ceremony tonight. I couldn't be more thrilled. I had never watched this (what I presumed to be quite pretentious) event. I even had to look up the rules, which, believe you and me, are no laughing matter. Did you know that ice dancing didn't even become an Olympic sport until 1976? And when it did, the first rules stipulated that you had to remain linked in a dance hold to your partner during the entire program! Since the early 80's, the rules state you can be up to two arm lengths away from your partner, however and throwing and spins are highly discouraged.

The bestest *that's right, I said bestest...just go with it* part of the whole event? The use of music. In regular partner ice skating, the skaters can dance to the phrasing or the melody of a piece of music. In ice dancing, the dancers must always skate to a definite beat or rhythm. How awesome that a piece of music and its movement dictates your choice of choreography on the ice!

It was love at first twizzle.

*and for those of you wondering, a twizzle is a multi-rotation turn common in the sport*

Love and Allegro,
Kir

Milk Punch

Ingredients for a drink that will (no doubt) taste delicious:

3 oz Burbon
3 oz Milk
1/2 tsp Dark Rum
1 Tbsp Sugar Syrup
Nutmeg

Shake liquor and milk with cracked ice, strain into a chilled highboy glass, sprinkle nutmeg on top, substitute for real milk and drink with the divine Chocolate Peanut Butter Nirvana Cake I will be making tomorrow morning...

exhibit a: Chocolate Peanut Butter Nirvana Cake
exhibit b: New bundt pan which inspired said cake

exhibit c: Day plans tomorrow
exhibit d: Here
exhibit e: With these lovely ladies
Literally, what could be better? Um...nothing.

Love & Allegro,
Kristen

Mexican Asshole

Ingredients for dealing with a douche bag:

1 oz Tequila
1 Splash Tabasco Sauce
1 dash Worcestershire Sauce

Shoot. Revel in the fact that you were the bigger person.

Men are ballsy.


Exhibit A:

Jason. An EMT/server at claim jumper. I thought he was cute, and I left him my number on the top of our receipt. He didn't call so I wrote him off. A week and a half later, suddenly I was his #1 priority.

Our conversations, however, went a little something like this.

Jason: hey, its jason from claim jumper. so i put ur number in my server book, but couldn't remember for the life of me where i put it. until now when i was cleaning out my book ha. so hows it going?

*this text should have been my first clue....*

Kristen: Hi! I'm great. Stoked to have one more day of weekend before work again on Monday. What are you up to?

Jason:When you texted me back i was sleeping. i'm at the fire dept today working. where do you work at?

*Again...my gut should have said...STOP. Ending a sentence with a preposition? REALLY?*

Kristen: The Renaissance hotel in Hollywood. I work in the events dept. :) How was work? Long day?

Jason: I'm still at work. Don't get off til 6:30am tomorrow. 24 hour shifts.

*And that...my friends...is the way the rest of our conversations continued....completely stunted by the fact that he responded with one word answers and never posed questions back. Not to mention the fact that he never asked me anything but "What's up?" on numerous occasions.*

My favorite part of our short lived text message relationship, however, was this:

Kristen:...what are you studying?

Jason: Just going over all my info...

Jason: Send me a picture of urself?

Kristen: Really?

Jason: Ya. :)

*And that, my friends, was what I thought would be the end of this apparent relationship. I did NOT text him back.*

Then a week later on a Saturday night:

Jason: What's up with u today?

*I didn't text him back AGAIN*

Then on Sunday night:

Jason: Hey whats up? What r u doing tonight?

Kristen: You're ballsy.

*I love myself for this comment. I know that I'm egotistical for saying that, but comon.*

Kristen: Watching the golden globes.

Jason: How am i ballsy?

Kristen: You were persistent even after I shut you down and didn't send you a picture

Jason: Oh alright.

Kristen: That's all you're gonna say? :) Really?

Jason: Well I'm guessing you weren't interested anymore.

Kristen: Your request caught me off guard. It was quite forward of you. I don't know if it means I'm not interested.

Jason: Well you never replyd or sent me a text after that.

Kristen: I didn't want to send you a picture. I still don't. :)

*Thus ended that short-lived, whatever you want to call it.*





Exhibit B:

Jose. He asked to be my Facebook friend about two months ago. We had several mutual friends. They were all from high school. He looked to be about my age, living in my hometown, so I figured we probably had a class or two together.

Yesterday evening, he chatted "Hi" to me.

*I ignored him.*

Today, he chatted "HI" to me again.

I responded with, "Hello. Do I know you?"

Jose: UM...I DUNNO.

Kristen: Did you go to FUHS?

Jose: YEAH. WERE YOU LIVE?

*Again, my spidey-sense should have been tingling. I need to STOP talking to this creature who only understands UPPER case on the keyboard. I don't need to be yelled at. Sir. And really, WERE I live is not any of your business if you spell "WHERE" like that.*

And yet I continued.

Kristen: LA

Jose: YOUR HOT. CAN I HAVE UR NUMBER?

Kristen: Nope. Thanks!
*And that is when I un-friended Jose.*

I'm on a roll in the men department.

It's my own damn fault, I guess. I should just become a hermit.

:)


"I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain cells." - Dr. Seuss

with love and allegro,
Kir